Not Sure What to Title This Post/Catch Up

So I have a terrible excuse for not writing on here sooner...you ready? I had forgotten my password. Yes, I know, terrible excuse! And when I really thought about what it could be, of course it came to my head. That's what I'm all about sometimes...excuses. I hate that about myself. I know I should just do something or make the phone call or make the plans or make the appointment, but I make excuses. It's terrible! Eventually if it's something I really want to do I do do it, but it's the other stuff. You know what stuff...the dentist appointment (its been a year), the getting the city sticker for my car (I moved to the burbs 2 months ago and never even had one for my car when I lived in the city), it's folding the laundry, it's all the stuff you know you HAVE to do, but just don't want to that day. Thank g-d my husband knows this about me, however, it's something he HATES about me. That's okay, I know he does and he sadly kind of just has to expect this from me.

Now let's get to the good stuff...the reason why I started this blog in the first place...Braedyn...Braedyn you are 16 1/2 months old. Where the *@#$ does time go? You are in the 90th %ile for height and 50th for weight (tall and skinny like your daddy) and you have such beautiful blue eyes, blonde hair (which is finally filling in) and fair skin (I lather you up with SPF 85). And you are funny! You still aren't walking on your own, but you will walk if you hold our hand. You say baba (milk), wawa (water), mama, dada, NO, boo (book), ca (car), papa, nigh nigh (night night), nana. And you are sweet. Anyone who comes in contact with you say two things: 1. How is it possible you (me) produced this child (those of you who know me-my one follower-can attest, this child looks nothing like me) and 2. She is sooo sweet! And you are. It's been an adventure this past year and 4 months. I can't believe how much fun I'm having with you! You are at such a fun stage now. I took you to the beach last week and you loved it and in the pool the other day and you loved that! I'm so excited because I love the water-your daddy isn't too thrilled about water so that leaves me, and this could be our thing.

Now to the sad stuff...I can't believe it's been a year since the passing of Mary. I really thought it'd get easier, but it really hasn't. There isn't a time when she pops into my head that I don't cry. It's hard for me to go to my parent's house and not want to yell, "Mary! I'm home!" And have her head pick around the corner and have her embrace me in her arms. I am so sad that she missed all these incredible milestones in Braedyn's life. The loss of someone is never easy, but I have found in this case, when it's the unexpectant loss, that's when it's more difficult to move on. And I guess move on isn't the right terminology, but it's coming to terms with. I'm just sad and I get a big blockage in my throat. For example, in the last two years between M and myself we have lost 4 grandparents-he 3, me 1, and knowing that they lived to see their grandchildren grow up and meet great-grandchildren was easier for me to understand the loss of them, than it is with Mary. I'm sorry I'm dwelling on this, but it's been on my mind.

Well, I'm hoping to write more updates, since it is summer and I will have more time...no more excuses!!

xoxo

One of the Bests...

Dear Braedyn,
Tonight was one of my most favorite nights putting you to bed. Don't get me wrong, every night I absolutely love putting you to bed. In fact it pains me to not put you to bed. But tonight after you pushed your bottle away, like you do every night when you are done with it, you sat up, looked at me and put your head on my chest. It was precious. It was incredible. My heart melted and I didn't want it to end. It is moments like that that I truly love being a mother because no one else could understand how a little thing like a baby putting their head on a mother's chest could be so incredible and breath taking. I am in awe of you. You are now starting to get up on your knees and rock back and forth and today you sat up on your own from laying down, however, I missed it, but J told me you did. And every time you hear music you rock (which is hilarious) and even funnier is when you are laying on your tummy and hear music and then your butt goes up and down, slightly innappropriately, but hilarious. I can't stop laughing when you do that.

B-I love you and think you are just incredible. Thank you for coming into my life and being as incredible as you are!!!

xoxox

A New Year

As we embark on a New Year I can't help but reflect on the one we are about to finish the good and they bad:

1. My precious beautiful baby was brought into the world. An amazing Wednesday that didn't begin like anything else and definitely didn't end like any other day I had ever experienced. Best day of my life.

2. My precious Mary was taken from me. The woman who was like a mother to me, raised me, and loved me like I was her own child passed. It was a cold and rainy Sunday in June and it was the most miserable day of my life.

3. I finished my 6th year of teaching with an incredible team of teachers and began my 7th with that same group. I have absolutely loved working with these people and learn something new from them everyday.

4. I celebrated my 3rd wedding anniversary to the most incredible man, husband and father I know.

5. I welcomed a new niece, Arielle Olivia. Absolutley precious and I can't wait to see how wonderfully she will grow up to be.

Now with 2009 ending and a blog out there with a list of things to do before "30" it makes me want to come up with my own list of things to do not only in 2010, but before I'm 30.

1. Run a 1/2 marathon. The summer before I got pregnant I was running 6 miles a day, and I would love to get back into it and run a 1/2 marathon. I would really love to run a full one, but let's be honest, baby steps.

2. Graduate with my second master's degree. I will be starting up in January and finished by June 2011.

3. Have a second baby. B has brought me so much joy that all I can think about is wanting another to give her a brother or sister.

4. Move into a bigger place and to the suburbs. I have lived in this 1000 sq. ft. condo for 4 1/2 years doing the commute up to the burbs. I'm done. I'm losing time I could be spending with my child and it's extremely frustrating.

5. Lose these last 10 pounds. It's obnoxious already. Note to self...50 pounds should not be gained in a pregnancy when you are so not underweight.

6. Be a better friend. In our busy lives it's easy to put friends off to the side. I am down to a few very close friends and I want to be there for them more and make plans to go out with them once a month.

7. Go on a date with my husband once a month. He and I don't get to go out just the two of us ever, and we need to make more of an effort to do so.

8. Visit my aunt in New Hampshire and my cousin in Washington state. I've never been to either place and my aunt is always asking me to come and visit. I should.

With that said and stated hopefully those things will get accomplished.

So Happy and Healthy New Year!!! Here's to a great 2010.

Break Time

My love-

So I have been on break for officially one week now and I can say that nothing productive has been done. Actually, I have productively effed up your nap schedule as you seem to have completely forgone your afternoon naps. So J will have a lot of fun getting you back on your schedule. I can't help it. I don't like to hear you cry for longer than 30 minutes and I'd rather play with you than watch you roll around by yourself in your crib. However, I am loving this time with you. You make me smile and laugh with every thing that you do. The way you pick up a toy or turn the pages of a book and your little giggles are the cutest and most heart-warming sounds a mother can hear.

Today as I was giving you your bottle you fell asleep in my arms. And I was able to lay down with you and take a nap with you on my chest in bed. I absolutely loved it. You never fall asleep on me and it was amazing. There was a point where I couldn't take it with you sleeping on my chest and had to put you in your crib. And now you never will. Yet, today when you did, there was no way I was going to give up that moment. Braedyn, Daddy and I cannot believe how lucky we are to have gotten you. I know I say this every post, but because I don't write that often I feel like I have to.

I am so blessed to be given this time to share with you. You melt my heart everyday.

XOXOXO

Mommy

Ten Months

My Dearest Braedyn,

You are now 10 months and 2 days old. My how time flies!!! You are so funny and loveable and everyone who meets you says the same things. Let's see what things do you do since the last time I wrote...You have mastered clapping and "How Big is Braedyn." You still have no interest in walking or pulling yourself up, rolling is your main way of getting places. You have two more teeth on the top. You love people food and are pretty much over the baby food thing. And you LOVE feeding yourself! Your sleeping is unbelievable, you go down about 5 p.m. and sleep anywhere from 5;30 a.m. until 7:30 a.m. truly I don't know how I got so lucky.

Ms. B you are the best. I'm spoiled with how amazing you are. Daddy and I are quite obsessed with you and love you more and more everyday.

XOXO

Mommy

9 Months and 1 week

Alright my love here is your official standings from Dr. Monroe:

Height: 28 inches-75th %ile
Weight: 20 pounds 4 oz-75%ile
Head: 46 centimeters-15th%ile (small but proportional)

You got 4 shots today, the H1N1, regular flu, TB, and a lead test. I hate when you get shots, it makes me so sad to see you cry, but you did it and shortly after you were back to your old self laughing and babbling. I was really hesistant on giving you the H1N1, but after I heard that a 2nd grade in my school district died last week from the virus I decided to. I just couldn't bear having anything wrong with you and knowing that I could've done something about it.

Ms. B you are awesome and perfect in every way.

All my love,

Mommy

Nine Months

B child-
This past Wednesday marked your 9 month birthday. In this past month you have completely mastered the art of eating. You love cheerios, puffs, avocado, banana, basically everything. You roll all over the place and have figured out how to twist your body to get to certain areas of the room. You have four teeth and just babble dadadad, nanana, mamama, bababa. And very soon there will be meanings to your babblings. Every morning when Daddy or I come and get you you have the biggest smile on your face, it's amazing. All you do is smile and laugh and I can't get over how amazingly lucky I am to have you.

We are working on you crawling and putting weight on your legs. But I'm in no hurry to get you walking. I am told when that happens I'll never be able to catch you

I love love love you!

XOXOX
Mama